Truth Wins Out: Courageous, Caring, Unafraid of the Truth

Wayne Besen, founder of the gay activist/watchdog group Truth wins Out, has courage and guts.
So does Michael Airhart, news director for TWO's widely read website.

The two of them are among the few in the LGBT community who walk the walk and talk the talk.
They listen, they care, they report the truth, and they don't give LGBTs who work against the community's interests a free pass.

They do it with class and dignity, and have never once resorted to fighting or name calling, as so many LGBT activists do.
If we had more activists like Wayne & Michael, we might actually stand a chance of achieving full equality in this lifetime.
I'm learning not to repeat my past mistakes from them.

And so, I proudly present this op-ed piece that I wrote for the Truth Wins Out
site:
http://www.truthwinsout.org/blog/my-post-pride-dream-memories-observations-and-hopes-for-a-fragmented-community/

I wrote it after 35 years of constantly being subjected to abusive behavior from bitchy queens and angry dykes who equate "gay rights" with treating other LGBTs badly.
This culminated in my recent conflict with anti-gay hatemongers Kathryn Rock & Stephen Polich, who resorted to mail tampering, fraud and perjury so as to cause trouble between my former partner & me, and to isolate him from the gay community.
I cannot even begin to describe how it made me feel to have gay activists and gay rights groups tell me to "get over it'. Even worse,
several LGBT journalists intentionally misreported my story, and supressed my documentation.
One of those journalists actually taunted me about having done this.

Enough is enough.
I want a real community, where people listen, care, and support each other, as Michael and Wayne do at Truth Wins Out.

In the course of writing the op-ed, I found out that I'm far from the only one who feels this way. As you'll see when you read it, others are speaking up as well.

I hope that in breaking the ice and pointing out that what we're doing only serves to hurt our cause, that I'll inspire even more people to speak up.

Every time we treat each other poorly, every time we turn our backs on each other, we undermine our struggle for equality and give the religious right exactly what it wants.

David Alex Nahmod
SF CA
July 2009

Sad Reflections on Farrah & Michael

My, how quickly the years whiz by.

Farrah Fawcett, an icon of my late teens, and Michael Jackson, who became a pop star during my early teens and a legend less than ten years later, both died yesterday.

Jackson and I were about the same age, Farrah was less than ten years older than I.

Of the two, I find Farrah's death the sadder.
I recall the Farrah Fever of 1976-1977, and how, by 1978, her wish to be taken seriously as an actress was met with laughter.
Her first few films bombed, and she was considered a has-been.

But in 1983, she appeared in a little off Broadway theatre piece called Extremities. Her performance as a rape victim who turns the table on her attacker drew rave notices.
Then came The Burning Bed, a groundbreaking 1984 TV film about spousal abuse. Farrah's performance as a battered wife broke many hearts~~her acting was never laughed at again.

By the time Farrah reached middle age, she was working with maverick independent directors like Robert Altman. She was a real actress.

When cancer struck, she fought like hell.
When the tabloids did what sleazy tabloids do, she stood up to them, documenting her life and death struggle for Farrah's Story, a documentary that aired last month.
Her courage was amazing! She refused to give up, and she had no qualms about being filmed bald, or while vomiting in her hospital room.
"This is what cancer is," she said.

Farrah Fawcett was 62, much too young.
She was a class act who took her final bow with great dignity.
She was a true role model.

I remember seeing The Jackson Five on The Ed Sullivan Show around 1970. WOW! They were GOOD!
Michael was incredible!
What a voice!
What a dancer!

With his first two solo albums, Michael Jackson showed us the awesome depth of his talent. No less than Fred Astaire expressed admiration for Michael's impressive dance moves!

Then, something went horribly wrong.
In his 30s, Michael Jackson began living the childhood he'd never had.
Numerous plastic surgeries gave him a freakish appearence.
"Sleepovers" with young boys brought accusations of child molestation. In the 1990s he bought the silence of a 13 year old boy for $20 million. Ten years later he stood trial on molestation charges. The trial turned into a circus. Charges were dropped, but few believed his innocence.

In two weeks, Michael Jackson was due to open in London fo a highly touted 50 concert engagement~~it was believed that this was going to revive his sagging career.
When he collapsed and died of heart failure yesterday, he was $400 million in debt.

As I recall the beautiful little boy I saw on Ed Sullivan nearly 40 years ago, I can only shake my head sadly at a great talent squandered, a life wasted.
As a bipolar survivor, I wonder how so many people in Jackson's life could have enabled what turned into a freak show.
Why didn't those close to him get him the help he needed?

As Farrah and Jackson fade into history, both far too young to have left us, I reflect on my own mortality. At 53, I wonder if I'll still be here in 10, 20 years.

I feel like a very old man today.

David Alex Nahmod
SF CA
June 2009

Patty Loves to Rock and Roll!

Those of us who were around at the time may recognize the title of this post: it's a line from the theme song to The Patty Duke Show, which aired on ABC from 1963-1966.
I recall watching the show's original run with great fondness, never dreaming that Ms. Duke and I would one day share a medical diagnosis: manic depression.

Two days ago, I spent nearly 90 minutes on the phone with Patty Duke, the results of which will be published in Bay Area Reporter & ON Magazine in July.

Our phone chat was WONDERFUL!
The now 62 year old Duke (she proudly admits to her age) chatted about her two most famous films: The Miracle Worker (1962) & Valley of the Dolls (1967), both of which will screen at the Castro Theatre on July 20th~~she'll be there in person to do an onstage Q & A for Valley of the Dolls!
She shared wonderful memories of Miracle Worker co-star, the late, great Anne Bancroft.
She spoke proudly of her five children, and how much she enjoyed being Grandma.

She spoke of her love for her work, and her love for the life she now shares with husband Michael Pearce in Idaho.

She and I also spoke of our manic depression, which was exhilirating for me~~Patty Duke, the first celebrity to speak publicly about living with and overcoming a mental illness, is and will remain my all time hero.

After we got off the phone, I heard from Marc Huestis, the producer of Sparkle, Patty! Sparkle!, the Castro Theatre event.
Michael Pearce told Marc that he and Patty would like to meet me in person at the Castro Theatre.

I am humbled beyond words, and look forward to the day with great joy and anticipation.

David Alex Nahmod
SF CA
June 2009

Patty Duke~~Encountering An Idol

Next Monday, June 15th, I'll be interviewing the Oscar/Emmy winning actress Patty Duke, in conjunction with her July 20, 2009 appearence at the Castro Theatre, where she'll co-host a screening of her film Valley of the Dolls (1967). The interview will apear in Bay Area Reporter (San Francisco) and ON Magazine (San Jose).

For me it's a dream come true~~Patty Duke is my personal hero. In 1962, at age 16, she won an Oscar for her portrayal of Helen Keller in The Miracle Worker. She has since won Emmys for her television work, and has appeared extensively on the stage~~she currently plays Madame Morrible in the San Francisco production of the musical Wicked.

But for me, Patty Duke is so much more than just a "star". She's a courageous groundbreaker. In 1982, after having displayed years of bizzare, out of control behavior, she was hospitalized and diagnosed as a manic depressive~~bipolar. She was the first celebrity to publicly admit to having a mental illness. All these years later, she continues to talk about it~~she's one of our leading advocates for proper mental health care, and for destigmatizing mental illness.

Around 1970, Duke was fired from a Universal Studios production she was working on due to her on set manic episodes.
She admits to having thrown a paperweight
at a studio executive.
In 1985, a stable Duke ran for President of the Screen Actor's Guild. The same executive who had banished her 15 years earlier supported her candidacy~~he was that impressed with her turnaround. The actress shared this anecdote, and many other personal stories from her bipolar life, in Call Me Anna, her heartfelt and moving 1987 autobiography.

Duke's story stands as an inspiration to "people like us." She was, in her own words, "crazy as a bedbug." But she fought back and bounced back, and now lives a serene and happy life. She's in a great marriage, is close to her kids, and her career has continued, as has her mental health advocacy.

She stands as a grand example of what we all could be~~her story has certainly helped me in my own recovery.

And so, next Monday I get to spend an hour or so with my hero Patty Duke.
I'm humbled and honored to be doing so.

David Alex Nahmod
SF CA
June 2009

Being the Change I Want to Be

A few months back, and a number of times before that, I bemoaned the lack of care & support for each other in the LGBT community.
The sad truth is that we've given each other a free pass to treat others in the community badly, often with no regard for the harm we're doing to our psyche or to the struggle for our rights.
Quite a number of people have since told me that this is a serious, community wide problem that needs to be addressed.

"Be the change you want to be," Molly
Mc Kay, founder of Equality USA told me.

Last week, a gay man in his 50s, HIV positive for over 20 years, reminded me that marriage equality is not our only issue. People are still HIV positive, and still dying from it.
Yet in California, those living with HIV are in danger of losing their funding.
Could I help spread the word, he asked me?

And so though I'm HIV negative, I wrote this short piece for Truth Wins Out:
http://www.truthwinsout.org/blog/hiv-positive-californians-in-danger-of-losing-support/

It was a basic & to the point piece, and it took me all of ten minutes to write it.
I'm glad I did.
I recall all too well the AIDS holocaust of the 1980s. Now, all these years later, it saddens me to see, post-AIDS and post-Prop 8, that so many LGBTs continue to behave as though it's beneath them to speak to each other.

It's time for us to be honest with ourselves about how we treat our fellow LGBTs.
Do we want a real community or don't we?
I do, and so when a fellow gay man asked for my help, I was happy to respond.
In my own small way, I'm being the change I want to be.

David Alex Nahmod
SF CA
June 2009

Yes, It's True! I Really Am a Wanted Criminal!

Check out this link to see what I did on the day of the Prop 8 ruling:
http://www.truthwinsout.org/blog/getting-busted-for-marriage/

I'm a jailbird!
A menace to society!
(-:

David Alex Nahmod
SF CA
May 2009

Wearing a Yarmulka to Church

Tonight, I, a nice Jewish boy from an Orthodox family in Brooklyn, did something I rarely, if ever do.
I went to church.

Grace Cathedral, a huge, Gothic Episcopalian church that sits high atop San Francisco's Nob Hill, held an interfaith prayer vigil to overturn Prop 8 (the CA gay marriage ban)
Tomorrow morning at 10AM, the State Supreme Court will issue it's ruling.

There were many yarmulkas in church tonight. There was also a woman of the Sikh faith who spoke quite eloquently. A Buddhist Monk led a chant.
Christian pastors, Catholic priests and lesbian rabbis all spoke for equality and unity.

Gay & lesbian couples spoke of the health and inheritance benefits that were denied to them because of Prop 8 and because of DOMA (The Defense of Marriage Act).

There was a prayer for chilren and families.
There was also a prayer of forgiveness towards those who preach hate and seek divisness.

It was a beautiful night in church.
The LGBT community needs more of this kind of Unity.

Tune in tomorrow at 10AM.

"Testify to Love"
from tonight's service at Grace Cathedral:

For As Long As I Shall Live
I Will Testify to Love
I'll be a Witness in the Silences
When Words Are Not Enough
With Every Breath I Take
I Will Give Thanks to God Above
For As Long As I Shall Live
I Will Testify to Love


David Alex Nahmod
SF CA
May 2009